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Why I’d love another baby but why I (probably) won’t have one
I love my three kids. Overall I really quite enjoyed being pregnant. Birth wise I have come to terms with my status as a C-section mother despite very raw early feelings about how I gave birth. After I gave birth to my third child we were pretty sure we were done. Our family complete.
Recently I have noticed several signs that my babies are growing up before my very eyes. Add to that, the broodiness inducing linky hosted by The Busy Mamas, where I shared a list of ‘last firsts’ I will now miss that my baby making days are over, got me thinking. There are reasons why I’d love another baby:
1. That inside glow when you get a positive pregnancy test
Ok, so maybe 4th time would be less of a glow and more sheer panic but there is something amazing about that moment you realise there is a new human life developing inside you. And to hold that secret for weeks, while challenging at times, is only magical.
2. I love being pregnant
Pregnancy is hard but here I put on my rose-tinted glasses and say I loved it. I think once the news is public, you are passed the early weeks and baby starts kicking it is a most amazing time. Such an intimate time to bond with baby. I still look at each of my kids with wonder as I think that they were inside MY body. Mind blowing.
3. The new born cuddles
Once that baby is out all you can do is stare at this tiny human in awe. A newborn baby has the most amazing smell, amazing draw and above all gives the most amazing cuddles. Yes, you should be sleeping when baby sleeps but forgive yourself for staring in to their crib for an hour in pure wonderment.
4. I could blog my way through it
The lamest reason of all is the fact that if I was pregnant again I could chronicle my pregnancy and the birth as they happened. I bought this URL in August 2010. It was a shaky start and a need to delete everything and eventually start properly in December 2012 meant I missed the opportunity to blog my way through my last pregnancy which had its moments including a third section which had originally been planned as a VBA2C.
5. Attempt a VBA3C
My consultant would probably have a heart attack if I landed in his office pregnant and requesting a normal delivery after having had three C-sections. If I did find myself pregnant again it is definitely something I would go for. I feel now more confident and more educated and would trust myself and my body more. If someone told me I would be guaranteed a successful normal delivery I could be swayed to have another baby. Alas, there are no guarantees in childbirth.
I’m not sure some of those reasons warrant me running off and getting pregnant (I actually know they are not!) and I have lots of reasons why I wouldn’t want another one including:
1. They are expensive
Babies cost money. Period. From the day you find out you are pregnant until, well, forever they are a financial drain. More kids mean more drain. The tap is almost dry in our house!
2. I’d need a new car (and ideally house!)
We have a five seater car. Any new addition would require a change of car so we could travel together. Our house is also pretty much at capacity. In the last 3 years we added an attic conversion which allowed us host an aupair and in time (provided we don’t need another aupair) will allow each of our kids a room of their own. We also added an extension that has become the playroom. We cannot expand further. A new addition may throw us over the edge space wise.
3. The nasty pregnancy symptoms
In wanting another baby I don my rose-tinted glasses. Take those glasses off and I’m left with tiredness, nausea, swollen ankles, killer heartburn and being barely able to lift myself off the couch. Do I really want to endure that again?
4. I’m getting on
I’ll be 38 later this year (I can’t believe I have publicly declared my age). While it is perfectly acceptable to have babies in your forties or indeed fifties if that’s what you want, for me, having started my baby making at 30, I don’t really want to spend a decade making babies. It’s a personal choice. I’m only getting more tired and feel less able for a newborn – especially with three others to take care of.
5. Being back to the start
I delight in having a nappy and bottle free house. We have mostly okay nights sleep (although my 2-year-old still has a bit to go, we are getting there), my kids are mostly able to dress and feed themselves. The thoughts of bringing a brand new baby home with all that entails sends shivers down my spine! Sleep deprivation, constant feeding, changing, naps, weaning, toilet training – the list goes on – no thank you!
Of course I never say never. Perhaps a lottery win could sort the new house, new car and hire a round the clock nanny service. If anything ever happened between myself and my husband, such as death (his!) or divorce, maybe I would meet someone new and decide I want another baby but for the time being I think it is fair to say my baby making days are over.
Of course all bets are off with any contraception failure!
How did you know you were done? Or are you?